Episode 3: The Words That Are Running Your Life

Most people never stop long enough to listen to what they're saying to themselves.

The problem is that the subconscious mind is always listening.

In this episode, I explore the connection between language, identity, limiting beliefs, and the subconscious mind. We dive into how the words we repeat every day can quietly shape our emotions, behaviors, confidence, self-worth, and ultimately the direction of our lives.

Inside this episode, we discuss:

• Why your inner dialogue matters more than most people realize
• How repeated thoughts become beliefs
• The hidden power of "I am" statements
• Why the subconscious mind accepts repeated language as truth
• How limiting beliefs keep people stuck in unwanted patterns
• The connection between language, identity, anxiety, depression, and self-worth
• How to begin identifying and challenging thoughts that no longer serve you
• A simple exercise to uncover the hidden language running beneath the surface

Many people spend their lives fighting symptoms without ever addressing the stories creating them.

The first step to changing a pattern is becoming aware of it.

If you've ever felt stuck, held back by self-doubt, or trapped in the same cycles despite wanting change, this episode will help you start listening to the language shaping your reality.

Because sometimes the most important conversation you'll ever have is the one happening inside your own mind.

— Steve Bliznicenko

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Okay, on this episode, I'm gonna talk about language. And it's a huge part of neurolinguistic programming. That's the linguistic side of the equation. And um it's so important the language we use inside and outside of our minds. Now, everybody's got you know that inner voice, that inner critic. That we almost have two entities, if you will. We have our conscious and unconscious mind, and and oftentimes we listen to their wrong voice. And also, people don't always completely understand how powerful their words are. There's a saying that thoughts become things. So if I repeatedly think the same thing over and over and over again, of course that's start gonna start to become true, and that can be anything, like even people don't understand how powerful the little things are, like you mess up at work or something, you say, Oh, I'm stupid, or you look in the mirror and you're like, Oh, I'm not that pretty. It's not always going to be something that comes into fruition that shows up in your life right away, but over time, if we continually say the same language over and over and over again, we start to develop the belief that's true. Our mind subconsciously starts to look for all these things to prove that what we're telling ourselves is real, because the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is fake. So if we are always constantly repeating things that don't serve us, especially that don't serve us, those things become real. And oftentimes, if people really are stuck in a place that they don't want to be in, they're living a life that they don't want to live anymore, and they start actually looking at the language they're using, and and so many people are completely oblivious to it. It's just the things they say all the time, it's the things that pop into their mind, it's it's maybe it's a belief, maybe it's an identity thing, but so many people don't even realize what it is they're actually saying, they're not even aware of the words that are coming out of their mouth sometimes. But everything becomes powerful, powerful, powerful language because eventually, like our subconscious mind doesn't know what is real or what's fake, and even more so, it becomes even more powerful that you know when we even look at somebody else and we say something bad about another person, if I say, Oh, that person's an idiot, that person's so stupid, whatever negative thing that I'd want to say about somebody else over whatever experience that I'm having at that moment that would want me to say something like that, our subconscious mind doesn't know that we're not talking about us. It it thinks that when I say that person's stupid, it doesn't know what that means because the subconscious doesn't work through our senses. So subconsciously, I'm pointing at that individual and I'm saying that person's stupid, let's say. I'm just using that as an example, but subconsciously it doesn't know what that person means, it's not seeing that person, it's not seeing the finger, the point, things like that. So it starts thinking you're stupid, right? And that's where things get very, very misconstrued when we're looking at language, and most people, I think most people, um, are stuck in language patterns that really do not serve them. Um and you can see it when people like when you have an average conversation with people, you can pick up on their limiting beliefs often, you can pick up on the things that they say in language, man, language is even more um scary and important, uh, you know, maybe both, but when we put things like I am, like I'm whatever, I'm X, and if those things aren't positive things, like if I'm saying I'm awesome, I'm beautiful, I'm handsome, I'm an amazing spouse, I'm an amazing dad, I'm an amazing colleague, I'm an amazing son, those things are great things to say, but often we use these I'm statements that don't serve us. Like I use the I'm dumb, you know, like when you make a mistake at work and you're like I'm dumb, that doesn't serve you, and it's gonna be something that it leads to a belief or pattern that no longer is going to be something that's effective for you, that's something something that's gonna really harm you over time. And when we start looking at the linguistic programming side of the equation, we really look at language, you know. When we sit when I sit down with a client and I talk to them about their experience or what they're going through, and we we have coaching sessions, you can pick up on the language that people are using and you can understand quickly what's not serving them and why they're often stuck in in places that they're they don't want to be. They say, I don't want to be in this place, but when you have a conversation with them, they have so many limiting beliefs and they have so much language that they use that it's no wonder why they're stuck. And we really gotta start looking at what that language is, and everybody's got that inner critic. Like, think for a moment, just think, just think. What does your inner critic tell you all the time? When does your inner critic pop up? Where does it pop up? Was it when you go try something new? Um, maybe it's when you go on a date with somebody, maybe it's when you're even interacting with your current partner, um, how you talk to your kids, you know, uh at work. It shows up in a number of different areas, and it typically shows up when we're trying to do something that we've never done before, and we want to get healthier, we want to have better jobs, we want to make more money, we want to do something we've never done before, and what pops into play? What what really what's the language that starts creeping in from that inner critic? Because that inner critic's trying to protect an identity that you've been living for the majority of the time period that you have been on this earth. There's an identity that that's there, there's a reason why you are where you are right now. And if you don't start challenging the language, if you don't start looking at the language that you're using, whether you're talking about somebody else, you're talking about yourself, um, or you or or that inner critic, if you don't really start listening to that inner critic and challenging it, a lot of people they say things without even realizing. And what really makes me sad sometimes is when people start identifying with things that don't serve them, such as when you know it's one thing to experience something like anxiety or depression, but when you start saying, I'm just a depressed person, I'm just an anxious person, now you're wrapping an identity, you're wrapping an identity into what you're experiencing, and that alone will keep a person stuck forever because you now have an identity that's built around that. You're saying that's who you are. So if that's who you are, if your subconscious is being told all the time that's who you are, then it doesn't matter a lot of the treatments that you're gonna get, the therapy you're gonna go to, the medication that you might have, you're gonna be stuck in that identity. So until you start challenging the language, the language that's at play, you're never gonna be able to really change long term because you have to, the only way you disrupt the pattern is by listening to the language that's being told inside that pattern. We all have patterns that don't serve us, and many people just operate, kind of float through the day, float through life without really being aware of what that pattern is. And the more we spend time really listening to ourselves, I think that's why something like meditation is really important. Um, and and so many people they spend their whole day just distracted in in today's you know era in our society currently, like you're you're just scroll holding on Facebook, you're watching the Netflix, you go to work, there's no there's no time where you're just by yourself quiet, quietly listening to the words that are coming up from your mind, from that subconscious mind. Like what is actually being told to you? What is actually the belief system that's underneath what's going on? That's where the pattern resides. And if that pattern serves you, that's okay. But for many people, for most people, I'll say almost like the epidemic that is mental health in today's world, we're losing brothers left, right, and center. I mean, here I am sitting here on this podcast, and we have Claude Lemieux, who is a Montreal Canadian who just on game three of the Stanley Cup playoffs walked the torch at the Montreal Canadians game, and within two days he goes and kills himself at his own frickin' uh company. His kid finds him. 60 years old, right? What was the language going on in his head? You know what would navigate that guy to make that kind of decision? Obviously, there's a lot of language happening inside his mind that didn't serve him that completely overwhelmed him and took over and led him down a path where he felt like the only option was taking himself out of the game. And and that's just unfortunately, if we don't spend enough time with ourselves and even ask for help, but uh more importantly, if we don't spend enough like quiet time, no distractions, no social media, no Netflix, no nothing. Like have you ever just sat there quiet with yourself? Sitting on a floor, sitting in your bed. Personally, what I like to do is I like to um I like to sit in the shower. I like to sit in the shower. People I I have people have thought it was weird that I sit in the shower, but I sit in the shower, I like to just let that water rain down on me because I can't hear anything outside of that, outside of that shower noise, right? So it's a space where I can't be distracted by anything. I don't have my phone in there, I don't have nothing in there, but I sit down, I sit down, and that's where I will often, you know, pray. That's where often I will spend some time meditating, and I'll just gather my thoughts and I'll think about what I want that day to look like. I'll try to catch any thoughts that don't serve me, anything that's leading me down a path, and you know, this is all work that I have to do too, but it's something that's very, very important. It's very important to spend some time learning about what's the words coming into your mind, especially from that inner critic, that don't serve you. Because most of the time, most of the time those voices in our head aren't great. I mean, let's be honest, they're not positive, they're not super supportive, um, they're not telling you good shit. They're not telling you good shit. And and for most people, over time they can. Over time, when you when you spend more time putting in better language and noticing those words that are being told to you on a consistent basis, over time you can learn to change what's actually being said subconsciously. Because that subconscious mind, like I talked about in the last podcast, the the subconscious mind wants to keep you safe. And so you might experience something like anxiety, depression, anger, some uh lack of self-worth, whatever that looks like, imposter syndrome. And it's it it it's in in its world, it thinks it's keeping you safe. It's like, okay, I need to tell I need to tell Steve this so he's safe, so he doesn't go do this thing. This is our normal, this is our comfort zone. That comfort zone doesn't usually serve most people. And over time, if you don't spend enough time challenging it, it just consumes people. That's why people get so locked in these states of mind and these lives that they just don't want to be living anymore. So, this whole podcast is about understanding that language. And what I would tell anybody is if you grab a pen and paper and you sit completely alone by yourself, no distractions, no nothing, just find a quiet space where nobody's gonna interrupt you, and just even if it's five or ten minutes, it doesn't have to be a long period of time, just sit with yourself silently and record what's actually coming into your conscious awareness, like record the thoughts, record what is actually popping up, write it down because what we want to do is we want to eventually challenge those thoughts, the ones that don't serve us. You know, like if you're sitting there and it's all like rainbows and sunshine and that's all that's coming your way, like good for you. Like you've you've made it to a place that many human beings would love to get to. But if you're sitting there and you're just alone and you just listen, just listen what's being whispered to you. Is it something that serves you? Is it something that creates anxious states? Is it something that creates your depression? Is it something that puts you in a place where you can no longer stay present, where you're worrying about an unknown future, or you're regretting a past situation? Are you in a state of homeostasis? Are you are you at peace in those thoughts? Right? And most people, most people will tell you that one of the scariest places that they can be is being by themselves, be by themselves, be listening to those types of thoughts. What are they? How do you challenge something if it's not recorded? How do you challenge something if you have never really thought about it long enough? Because most people are trying to distract themselves from those thoughts. That's why we go out drinking all the time. The thoughts are just they're just so overwhelming that you want to numb it. You know, it's why a lot of people turn to drugs. It's why a lot of people do the things that they do. They start chasing things outside of what those thoughts are. We know what the goal is. The goal is to eliminate those thoughts so that they're no longer there. And what our subconscious mind needs us to do is it needs us to find enough evidence to prove that those thoughts are not real, that those thoughts no longer serve us. When we find enough evidence to challenge those stories, to challenge those invisible rabbits, we can start changing. We can start rewiring what once served us no longer serves us anymore. But what is that language? What's that language telling you? How's it impacting you? How does it make you feel? You have a thought that comes in, it's gonna elicit an emotion, and that emotion is gonna want you to behave in a certain way. Maybe it's to go smoke that joint, maybe it's to go drink that liquor, maybe it's to whatever. Doesn't matter what it is, but if it doesn't serve you, we need to start looking at it a little bit closer. If anybody wants to dive deeper into this, if anybody wants to have this is what coaching is all about. This is what coaching is all about because when when you sit with somebody that understands how the subconscious works and you listen, they they ask you questions and they can help you find those invisible rabbits. That's what I am an expert in. I can expose those motherfuckers because they're hiding, they're hiding from you, or you'd be making the changes in your life right now, so you wouldn't be experiencing what you're experiencing. The things that you're experiencing that you know you don't want to be thinking that way, you don't want to be doing those things. There's a there's a rabbit there. Sometimes there's multiple rabbits, they breed very, very fast, and that's how negative thoughts work, is you get that negative thought and those motherfuckers manifest like crazy. They breed like rabbits, they're a bunch of little fuckers and they will disrupt your entire day sometimes. But sometimes it can be one little trigger and your whole day's fucked. We all have experienced this on some level, some most people I think, anyways. So, if anybody wants some help with that, if anybody just wants to have a conversation, if you if you have something that you know doesn't serve you, and you're having a really hard time, you know, maybe sitting down with a journal, maybe the thoughts are so fast-paced and rampant that you can't meditate, when you just need to see you have somebody help you find these rabbits, if you need somebody to help you expose them, you know, that's what I'm here for, that's what I'm here to help you with. That's what I'm an expert at. That's I I say expert, but you know, that's just what I'm really experienced at. Um, I can help you. I can help you. So, anyways, action steps to end this podcast is sit with yourself, alone, quiet, think about those thoughts, write those thoughts down, and start disrupting them, start challenging them. When you hear something in your mind that says, Ah, you can't do that, fuck that. Fuck that voice. No way, no thank you. Not today, Satan. Something that says, You're not good enough, fuck that. No, we are good enough. You know, that's how you once you expose them and you see them and you understand the language that's actually working in the background, that is when you can start disrupting it because you have to be aware of it. You have to be aware of it, or else it will disrupt your life for the rest of your life. And we don't want that. We want to make the changes that we need in order to get to the levels that we want to get to in this thing called life. We want to achieve whatever we can achieve, and we have to start believing that. And if we want to accomplish anything in our life, we have to first believe that we can do it in fuck any language inside our mind that doesn't serve us, that isn't going to get us to that place. You know, so, anyways, much love. I hope you got some value from this podcast. And anybody that wants to dive a little bit deeper into this, I got you. Peace.